The TEN commandments for living a good life (post lockdown)
- Ignore what everyone else is doing
If you create your good life based on what others are doing with their lives, you’ll never be happy because you’re essentially chasing someone else’s dream.
Let it go.
Don’t follow someone else’s dream, it doesn’t belong to you.
2. Let go of what others think of you
If you’re too hung up on what other people think of you, people pleasing or trying to fit in, you’ll end up creating a life that exhausts you and makes you deeply unsatisfied. Create a life for you and ONLY you (ok maybe consult with partners and kids too if you have them in your life).
3. Learn how to dream again
If you haven’t got a foggy clue what a good life looks like to you and ONLY you, you’ll always feel stuck, lost or like an imposter. Day dreaming (and meditation FYI) is the best way I’ve found to connect with my hearts longing. Notice what you imagine and dream about when you think about what your best most peaceful satisfied life looks like for you.
4. Learn to pay attention to your heart and your soul as much as your noggin (head)
The mind is a pretty cunning clever thing. And we are conditioned so heavily to show up in certain ways (to please others — see point 2). When we listen to the wisdom we have in our heart, our body’s and our souls, we’re more likely to find and follow the path that’s most aligned for our wellbeing.
5. Do an audit
Once you’ve got a sense of what a good life might look for you, it’s time to do an inventory. I like to start with me first (if we’re not taking responsibility for our own wellbeing, who is? and if our batteries run out, we have nothing left to offer others). Because I’m passionate about the whole person, I use the following model;
- physical energy (quantity of energy — how full/empty is your tank?),
- mental energy (how focussed and committed are you?),
- emotional energy (whats the quality of your energy — how do you feel about where you are and where you are going?)
- spiritual energy (how aligned and on purpose do you feel about these plans?)
- creative energy (how much do you believe it’s possible? and what capacity do you have for change?)
6. How much is enough?
Living a good life (in this post lockdown world) also requires that we start to think about resources in a more compassionate kind and collaborative way. The earth provides what we need (unless we abuse and over use it’s resources). So how much and of what do you need to live a good life. I like to have three measures. My healthy survival amount, my living a good life amount, and my tipping beyond amount. How much is enough for you to live a good life?
7. Reconfigure your communities
This one is easy…. we all have people in our lives who are either radiators (spending time with them warms our insides) and hoovers (make us feel like we’ve been sucked of all our energy).
More radiators.
Less hoovers.
8. Learn to say no
Boundary management is key to all the above (but particularly step 7). People don’t like change, and if the people around you start to sense you’re making changes, it will make them do one of three things, clap like a happy cheerleader that you’re making some good choices (radiators), try to make you wrong for what you’re doing (don’t want to have to look at their own lives and make changes), dump you (in which case they were never meant for you anyway)
Learning to say no, to be clear about what’s ok and what’s not ok (based on YOUR terms) is absolutely necessary in this post lockdown world. We all have to take more responsibility for ourselves and inspire others to step up while we’re at it.
9. Kindness over judgment
Ok so look, we’re all human. We’re going to have an opinion (a judgement about what’s right and wrong in the world). We don’t have to share it. See points 1, 2, and 3 again. Everybody is living their life how they see is true for them. Sometimes we’ll be aligned, sometimes we’ll be on different pages. Sometimes we get it right and sometimes we fu*k up. We’re human. What if the world wasn’t right or wrong (in terms of how we live our lives?). What if it was just full of choices. Kindness comes from within and can go along way to ensuring we embrace diversity of living, thinking, and acting. Be kind.
10. Love is all your need
Ok well maybe you need a bit of money to pay your bills too, and some awesome friends. But seriously… we all need more love. Love for ourselves, love for our regrets, love for our pasts, love for our families, love for our failures, love for each other. I think LOVE should be on the school curriculum. We need to learn how to be in better relationship with eachother. It’s the crucial key to living a good life. We don’t need to submit to another to do that, we need to learn how to meet each other as equals. Humans trying to figure this shit out one day at a time.
Be more free range x
